Time 4 a Refill

Time 4 a Refill

At the age of 35, I find myself thinking ….. I think I need to start all over again. 35 years old, successful business woman, house owner, with properties in multiple countries, …. awards winner, entrepreneur .. yet I think I need to start all over again.

I often do think that I sabotage my own success. As if the only person that do not believe that I can make it its me.

Someone smart once told me that I keep on adding to my stress. I am always ON, always too busy for everything … yet never there … as my mind is always on a mission to achieve the next goal. How often do we invent our own problems?

I wonder…

Have you ever had a time…. when you could not switch off? You were at the top of the world, ON it and going strong. And even when you could relax …part of you would not allow it. That has been my life for the past 20 years or that has been my life. Always on… prove others… to prove myself that I can do it. Why? Well, I do know why. My self awareness game is always on so let me share with you why.

As a child I had been made fun of because of my looks, in particular it was my nose. I had a nose of a owl. It was different. I was bullied because I was different … and fun fact is that when it happened - I thought it was ok, every was made fun of by others. It was part of primary school. It was a norm. Now, it took me 2 degrees in therapy and 10 year to understand that that boy that was making fun of me was hiding his own weaknesses, that the problem was with him and not me. Making himself look big by shrinking others was his strategy and it is his strategy till today. What is sad thou is that it took me, an intelligent person 30 years to fell in love in the otherness of me. I love my owl nose and how different it is. What is sad is …. Why did it took me so long?

Well do discover that …. we are going to need a refill…

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